INTO THE VOID

 

(Excerpt from the Prologue)



It is 3:30 in the morning and I have completed my third REM sleep cycle. Having ingested 1,300 mg. of dextromethorphan HBr about half an hour earlier, I attach the electrodes of the neuroelectrical stimulator to my temples. It is set for a pulse repetition rate of 111 Hz. and a width duration of 550 milliseconds for forty-five minutes. As soon as I turn it on, I begin to feel a gentle buzzing sensation in my head. Next, I switch on my voice-activated tape recorder and press the play button on the audio console, which contains a cassette tape embedded with binaural frequencies. Finally, I put on a pair of headphones and get comfortable on my home office recliner.

In a matter of moments, thanks to the special frequencies on the audiotape that is now playing, both of my brain hemispheres begin to pulsate in unison almost effortlessly. As the music flows through the headphones, I begin to feel it becoming part of me—blending with my heartbeat, pulse, breath and brain pulses. As I mentally let go and relax, my breathing becomes calm and effortless. With each exhalation the sound seems to resonate inside my very cells. Waves of subtle but electric-like energy commence to run up and down my spine. Having trained myself in biofeedback and self-hypnosis, I begin to regulate some of my biological functions. Inwardly I say, “Pulse, calm... and regular...” “Heart rate, slow... down...” And it comes to pass.

I then picture in my mind’s eye the rolling waves of an ocean shore gradually becoming calmer and calmer. The purpose of doing this is that of slowing down my brainwave activity, so as to enter an altered state of consciousness. After a few minutes my pineal gland begins to secrete tryptamines—the body’s own natural hallucinogens. Also, the dextrorphan (DXO) and DXM molecules commence to occupy my NMDA brain receptors and I begin to feel the familiar effects. (The body metabolizes DXM almost entirely into DXO.) Both dizzy, nauseous, and euphoric I embrace myself for what is about to come. Because of the grogginess of the altered state at times I speak into the tape recorder in a slurred manner.

“Into the void: Se-....ssion number forty-.....one. Voice journ-......al en-...try.....date: March 2, 1999. To- ...night I....am ex-......perimenting with DXM together with neuroelec-... ....trical stim-......ulation and binaural frequencies. The audiotape I’m using is Monroe’s Hemi-Sync Free Flow 12. With this combination I am hoping to induce and retain a hyper-lucid out-of-body state with total awareness of the process that takes place right before, during, and after the separation of my consciousness from the physical body. I also want to be-...come aware of the process....... in-......... .......involved..........as................. ...................... ................... ........................... ........................ ............................. my..........………..................... ................my................ .......... .....con......sciousness..........shifts.............from this....psychodynamic frequency d-d-.... domain........ to......…....... to............... a-.....a-.....another. Theoretically, be-....cause.......of........the.......ef-... .....fects........tha-...........that............... ..............neuroelectrical stimulation has...... on.... ...... the.…...... neurochemicals responsible for memory it should help me accomplish this. To-...night, my de-.... destination is no-...……where in par-...ti-.......cular, for it seems that I cannot communicate my intent to this substance at such a high dosage.

At this dosage DXM seems to have its own agenda. So I guess I’ll end up some-.....somewhere over the rainbow.…….… Just kidding ................. I mean s-some-.……… where in hyperspace. Wow, I... I am start...ing to feel really dis-......dis-...socited, so I............I....will get on with-with .......………………....... the preliminaries of the ex-........ex-.........exploration. Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?” I ask myself inwardly. “At this moment, my name is Joey, I am thirty-three...years old... I live... on planet Earth.……. At this moment, the year is..... 19-.....9-..........9, and...... .........I............am..... .....conduc-.......... .......………duc-........ ......ting...........uh......uh.........a…......……….psy-......psy-...... ................……...... psychoportation …………….. ...…..ex-........uh....... .....ex-....ex-.....peri-..............ex-..........ex-... ....uh.....ex-.........p-p-p-......periment. ...………….................. ........ ...........”

By this time over two hundred neurochemicals including the ketamine-like substance DXM/DXO are furiously coursing my neurological pathways and acting upon my limbic system. Tiny electrical currents are passing information between my brain’s neurons as they leap the gaps between my synapses; resulting in an array of complex patterns. This process evokes electrical potentials that enable me— through my visual cortex—to ‘see’ the changes now taking place inside my brain.

My temples have become numbed because of the pulsating neuroelectrical stimulation. This type of stimulation is activating my temporal lobes in an unusual manner, which in turn results in a series of eerie sensations. In addition, DXM together with neuroelectrical stimulation may also be responsible for the unusual hyper-cognitive faculties that my reticular activating system is bestowing upon my sense of awareness.

My body is warm and completely paralyzed and is starting to vibrate. It feels as though some kind of electromagnetic force is going through it and around it. I note my breathing becoming shortened and I feel as if grasping for air, yet I can still breathe okay. Apparently, this seems to be some sort of involuntary reflex that I haven’t noticed before, yet now I’m aware of it.

I also note an electromagnetic-like pull on the upper portion of my right brain hemisphere. This effect is probably just the result of the combined interaction between the electrical charges emanating from the neuroelectrical stim-ulator, the binaural frequencies, and my now altered neurochemistry. Nonetheless, this phenomenon is and feels very interesting. The feeling is similar to that of putting together two magnets close enough and noticing the magnetic field/attraction between them. This doesn’t hurt at all, but it sure feels weird.

As all these processes continue, I begin slipping in and out of consciousness and commence to hallucinate. Behind my closed eyelids I start seeing intricate wave-like patterns, and also what looks to be white-noise crackling points of light. There is also a ringing in my ears that gradually turns into a roaring wind; which completely drowns out the binaural signals coming through the headphones. As the sound of the strange but familiar wind becomes louder and stronger, I feel as if my very essence is about to be ripped out. Eventually the roaring turns almost deafening, and the wavy patterns and crackling points of light begin to morph into alien landscapes and anthropomorphic-like shapes. Now hundreds of images, including those of human faces, begin to sequentially manifest in front of me, together with the sound of at least that many voices. But the voices sound as if a recording of them was being played on a cassette player on reverse. Then, gradually, the sequential changing of the images accelerates to the point where they become nothing but a blur.

While this is happening, I realize that I can see right through my eyelids! For I can see one of the lamps that hang on my ceiling, even though my eyes are shut. I also notice bright flashes similar to lightning bolts, which appear to be coming from behind my eyeballs—producing sort of a strobe-like effect within both my inner field of vision as well as my hearing.

Ultimately, these syncopated sounds and flashing lights come to a magnificent crescendo. Louder... brighter... louder... “Oh God, make it stop!” I hear myself inwardly scream; for all this is just too overwhelming for me to handle psychologically. Moreover, my eardrums and eyeballs feel as though they are about to burst. Still, it becomes louder...brighter... louder..! BRIGHTER! LOUDER! BOOM!!!!! There’s a deafening explosion. Then there is silence. Now the only things I hear are my thoughts.

“Peaceful...” “Tranquil...” “Free...”

The proverbial ghost is out of the machine. I find myself floating in an abyss of ‘nothingness’. It is dark, very dark, and there is an indescribable sound of silence permeating this ‘place’. Apparently, I am inside some type of ‘tunnel’ that seems to be made out of solid nothingness. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but that’s the only way I can describe it. What I mean is that although it looks, or rather feels, like the inside of a dark cave, and it appears cylindrical in some way, somehow I sense that in reality my brain is manufacturing certain impressions that my mind is transmitting to it.

In other words, my brain, while processing said impressions is associating these qualities with stored data from my memory banks, which are based on my preconceived notions and ideas of what something ‘dark’ and ‘leading some-where’ could be, or should look like. In this case: ‘cylindrical shaped tunnel’. Someone else may associate said impressions with ‘long dark corridor’, instead. Apparently, I have become aware of the mechanics involved in perception.

After some time, how much I cannot say, I begin to discern a play of fluorescent-like hues in the distance. As I begin approaching them my speed increases and the luminescence becomes even more striking. The lights start to take form. Now I can clearly see endless, interconnected, neon-colored tube-like structures filled with dazzling and shimmering lights, magnificent in splendor and scope. “God, this is so beautiful!” My mind fervidly exclaims. By this point I am traveling so fast, I mean so very fast, that I begin to feel a little too overwhelmed. So I try to close my eyes, but curiously find that I cannot do it. In fact, I can see in a 360-degree angle. While this is taking place it suddenly dawns on me that I am traveling through the wormholes and blackholes hypothesized about in quantum physics! Words cannot begin to describe the awe and excitement that my mind is experiencing at this stage of my voyage. For I feel my consciousness not only accelerating, but also merging with the infinite. Sharply cognitive of what is taking place, I continue racing through the fabric of space-time, at what I somehow know to be is the speed of light.

After doing this for what seems to be an instantaneous eternity, the velocity takes on a different characteristic. Now, instead of moving forward from one point to another, I feel my awareness expanding in all directions at once. No, is more like it is exploding in all directions. Yeah, that’s a better description. By this time I intuitively know that I have accelerated past the speed of light. I am now traveling at the speed of thought! This is so hard to verbalize, but it is as if I am no longer traveling on the curvature of space, but rather, I am swirling or oscillating right through it. In that sense, my consciousness is slicing its way through multiple membranes or layers of realities that exist within our ‘reality’.

Mentally I keep repeating: “Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?” The reason being that if I don’t, because of the nature of what I am doing, I will loose my sense of human identity and conscious awareness. “My name is Joey! My name is Joey! I am thirty-three years old. The year is 1999. I exist on planet Earth, and I am psychoporting!” “My name is Joey!” “My name is Joey!” “I am t-...!?!!?” Before I can finish the sentence and almost instantaneously and rather abruptly, I cease the oscillating/swirling-like expansion.

Once again everything is dark... completely dark, silent, and at a death-like standstill. “Who am I?” “Where am I?” “What am I doing?” Before I can answer, and while I am repeating those thoughts in my mind, I am jolted.

“Max... Max! Are you listening to me?”

“Uh?” Is my only reply.

I suddenly realize that I am standing in front of a store window staring at a bunch of shoes. There is a woman standing next to me calling me by a different name. She looks to be in her mid-fifties, and has short, dark, wavy hair draped over a heavyset frame.

“The reason I brought you shopping with me is so that you can help me choose a new pair of shoes. So help me choose! Which ones should I get? The beige ones with the cute fringe, or the dark coffee ones?” She insists.

As I look around, I notice that I am on a busy downtown metropolitan area. The murmurs of people talking and walking by, as well as the sounds of cars and traffic immediately come into my awareness. While I’m taking all of this in, I continue to watch the woman and my new surroundings in amazement. To test whether or not I may have fallen asleep, and consequently perhaps having a lucid dream, I decide to run a couple of reality tests.

For this purpose I mentally start to imagine myself beginning to float up in the air. The reason being that if I do, since that action can’t occur in physical reality, then that would indeed indicate that I am dreaming. However, after doing this for a few moments nothing happens. Still, not wanting to take any chances, I run a second reality test. This time, I hold my left hand up, look at it, and then close my eyes. I do this two or three times and try to see if it changes in any way. While I’m doing this the woman I’ve just met is staring at me in stupor. Since my hand retains its normal shape, I realize what is happening.

“Quick, what year is this?” I immediately demand.

“What? What do you mean?” She asks dumbfounded.

“What year is this?!!” I ask again.

“MX 219.” She replies matter-of-factly with a look of surprise.

Based on my previous explorations, I know what has happened. I, or rather my mind, has momentarily yet thoroughly integrated with the mind and body of one of my many probable selves, which lives independently of me in one of the thousands or perhaps even millions of probable Earths that I have come to learn exist. I, of course, am very excited and amused by all of this. But my companion isn’t. Excitedly, I continue to inquire.

“What’s your name?” With a look of disbelief the woman answers, “Helen; Helen McCullan, your wife! Are you feeling okay Max? What’s the matter with you? C’mon now stop it, you’re scaring me!”

Excited by the realization that I am on a probable Earth, and not wanting to waste any precious time, I dart off and start looking around for a landmark and/or street sign, so that I can later record it. I then notice a newspaper stand about fifteen feet away from me and head towards it. Carefully looking at the various magazines and newspapers, I read one of the titles and make a mental note to remember it. The title reads: “The Olympian”, and the date on it is: “MX 219”. I also see the picture of a small group of people in suits and the headline: “President Tate Edson to vote on the Miranda bill.” While I am doing this, I remember the woman whom I have just met; and consequently begin worrying that she might start thinking that her husband Max, whose mind I have momentarily integrated with, is acting a little too strange. So I run back to her to try and subside her worries.

“Listen, uh…? What was your name again…? Oh, Helen! Tha-That’s right, of course! Ha, just kiddin’! I’m just playing around, you know, just acting silly. So humor me, Helen. What planet is this?” I ask.

“What?!!” She shouts back at me.

“Please, just answer me! I’m-I’m trying to.... tell you a joke.” I facetiously continue. After a couple of seconds of silence, and wearing a thin smile on her face she answers, “Tathalamis.” To which I excitedly and loudly reply, “Really?! That’s fascinating!!!”

Right at that instant, because of the excitement I was experiencing, I begin to regain my physical awareness, and my home office surroundings start coming into focus. All of the details of my exploration and psychodynamic integration (PDI) with Max McCullan are still in my memory, as are some insights of what has taken place. But the transition to my layer of reality turns out to be tricky though. For I notice that everything around me seems to be vibrating very fast. In fact, I have a hard time making out the numbers on my office’s digital desk clock. All I see is a vibratory blur. So, I groggily get up from my recliner, and slowly and rather clumsily stumble towards the kitchen. The reason for this is that there I have a pretty big sized clock hanging on the wall, which has thick black numbers on it; and I reason that I should be able to see its numbers much better than the small numbers on my office’s tiny clock.

However, I realize something strange. I have taken two steps—only two steps—and I have arrived at the kitchen. When in reality there’s at least twelve good steps between the kitchen and my home office! I immediately conclude that my brain is not in sync with my mind and what I have perceived. Because you see, my brain apparently only registered steps number two and number twelve. The other in between steps were lost. Yet I experienced normal time! What I mean is that I mentally felt about thirty seconds go by before arriving at the kitchen. But in those thirty seconds it both cognitively seemed, and physically felt, as though I had taken two steps and then, boom! I popped up in the kitchen.

I speculate that this phenomenon might resemble something similar to ‘missing time’. Except that instead of hours or minutes, I only lost seconds. But not time-seconds; rather space-seconds. I know this is kind of confusing, but it is as though space folded or warped; therefore the usual space-time was disrupted. However, mind-time continued and kept track of the space-time (thirty seconds worth) that was skipped over and therefore lost.

Another unusual thing is that although my sense of balance, coordination, and physical condition resembles one of a massively inebriated state (like if I had drank at least two bottles of Southern Comfort!), my inward ‘being’ (per-haps my mind or ‘Self’) is hyper-lucid and cognitive—and therefore catching all of the mistakes that my brain is making. Furthermore, it feels as though the input data that my senses now perceive is being processed through other parts or ‘channels’ of my brain than the usual ones. It’s as though the regular channels utilized by my brain for everyday cognition are not accustomed to this type of information transference, and are therefore screwing it all up. On the other hand, the alternate channels now being used, is what’s allowing me this type of new and different cognitive hyper-lucidity.

Anyway, I carefully make out the numbers on the clock, and although everything is still vibrating almost supersonically, I finally and successfully determine that it’s six thirty-five in the morning. All of this time, after having returned from the probable Earth called Tathalamis, there’s been a very noticeable ringing in my ears, similar to tinnitus. But this ringing sounds as if it’s phasing or flanging, and the pitch is rapidly modulating in a multitude of musical keys. I can best describe it as the sound of piccolos traveling through undulating and vibrating musical springs.

This sound effect however, isn’t really that bothersome to me. In fact, not only is it rather humorous —almost in a cartoonish way—but I have encountered similar sounding frequencies in the past. Although it makes for a hell of a background soundtrack for what I am now experiencing. In a way, it’s almost as if an aspect of myself was always toying with me right after I return from a psychonautical voyage using certain substances. At least that’s one of the insights that come to mind. Another theory I have is that the binaural frequencies I sometimes use in my experiments are somehow retained in my brain’s short-term memory banks, and are then replayed inside my head in a distorted manner. Thus eliciting some rather unusual psychoactive/acoustic effects on my consciousness.

As I’m returning back to my home office I’m in for another surprise. ‘I’ am standing next to the recliner smiling at ‘me’ coming from the kitchen. In other words, there is a twin of ‘me’ looking back at me. This other ‘me’ looks so real, that it’s almost as though I was looking at my reflection in a mirror. But the instant I become startled by this particular occurrence, I become the ‘me’ that’s standing next to the recliner, smiling at the thought of this episode, which has just popped into my mind! However, this visual hallucination is completely three-dimensional and lifelike. For lack of a better word it seems real. Or is it? Nonetheless, just when I think I have figured out what is happening, I again experience this strange phenomenon—which I must emphasize looks and feels utterly real. To give you an idea it’s almost as if you were watching a two or three second snippet of a movie scene over and over and over again. But you were both watching the movie and inside the movie.

As this phenomenon repeats itself a number of times—seemingly out of my control—I start becoming very concerned. For I start thinking that I may have been caught up in some sort of weird neurological memory warp or loop that’s beyond my understanding. Then, when my fear intensifies to the point of terror for having lost control of my mind, this hallucination comes up to me, puts its right hand on my left shoulder —which I can clearly see and completely feel—and speaks to me while I hear it in shocking disbelief.

“There are more psychological frames of reality than meet the conscious mind. This is but a small yet excellent example of this fact. You are beginning to successfully perceive alternate neurological pulses, which are in sync with what can be called for now ‘probable’ events. This event is for your education and benefit. But I am not a figment of your imagination, nor am I a product of your intoxication. I’m just as real [his emphasis] as you are, but I am a further developed version and extension of your Self.

I exist on another psychological frame of reality or space-time continuum, just as you exist in yours. I have psychoported here and was psychodynamically integrating with you as you did earlier with Max McCullan. But I was doing this a number of times simply to jolt your awareness and attention. Forgive me for scaring you. You may experience yet another mild state of shock, shortly. But this was a necessary deed on my part so as to help you understand and also remember this event; as well as help you fully integrate it into your current state of consciousness.

At this time this encounter between us is occurring in your waking state because our space-time continuums are rapidly aligning with each other, and about to merge. Moreover, because of your experiments, you have in fact begun to see beyond the illusory nature of your physical dimension. The notion and further understanding of what I am saying to you now, and what has taken place here today, will become increasingly apparent to your conscious mind as you continue to further develop, psychologically and neurologically.

There are an infinite number of doorways within one’s mind, which lead to countless alternate dimensions, worlds, and realities. Earlier you happened to visit another one of them. You and I both exist in others. You are doing fine in your progress. By the way, the others say hello. You should record the details of this event. If you choose to do so, you will find that after our meeting concludes, each and every word that I am now speaking to you will be available to your conscious mind. Likewise, starting right now, you will also begin changing more rapidly and in many important and beneficial ways than you have done previously. More information of this nature will be given to you from this point on. I know what you are going through right now, Joey, but you have to be strong. Remember, you are in control.”

All of a sudden this ‘twin’ isn’t there anymore. It’s just me standing alone in awed silence. As you can imagine, what I have just seen, heard and experienced profoundly shocks me. All at once, there are a number of questions running through my mind. “What did just happen? Was it real? Did I imagine that? Am I awake? Did I hallucinate that incident? Could it be that I’m dreaming all of this? Or, could it be that I have somehow lost contact with the boundaries that exist between my conscious and subconscious mind?” I keep asking myself. Ironically, these are some of the same questions I asked myself after having my first out-of-body experience (OBE). But then I came to terms with the fact that it was real. Now this.

I mean, by this point in my development, I was comfortable enough with having OBE’s and lucid dreams “out there” in hyperspace. But now, I find myself having this bizarre type of experience “here”, while I’m awake and in physical reality, with a supposed ‘me’ from the future...! Now one thing is reading about the hypothetical existence of probable realities and probable selves—as I had been doing at the time because of my research. Another is to watch a sci-fi flick about it. But to come face to face with a supposed alternate version of you, while being awake and in plain daylight, is something completely different and rather hair-raising. Believe you me.

But, could I really be awake? Or, could this be some type of lucid dream that I’ve never experienced before? No, the scary and eerie fact is that I am awake and also heavily intoxicated. But as mentioned before, I am extremely lucid and cognitive. Moreover, the words of the information I have just received are still resonating inside my head, just as ‘he’ said they would be... This gives me shivers, which I can clearly feel run up and down my spine. I have been shaken to the soul. “My God, I am awake! This is real!” I conclude.

Making a tremendous effort, I try to calm myself down by taking deep breaths. Because by now, I am in such a strange and unfamiliar state of heightened emotions, that I can barely hold back screams and tears. In that sense, I no longer feel in control of my emotions. I also feel as though I’m on the verge of somehow ‘loosing myself’. In addition, I notice that most of my facial muscles are twitching; and the temporal, frontal, and occipital lobes of my brain feel as though they are quivering. Thus, I intrinsically begin to worry— wondering if I could be having a seizure. Perhaps these bizarre aftereffects are due to this particular experiment, in which I have combined neuroelectrical stimulation, binaural frequencies and dextromethorphan.

“This time you’ve done it, Joey. This time you’ve really done it! You have succeeded in frying your brains!” I shockingly think to myself. “Shit, what am I going to do now? This is definitively not turning out as I expected it to. Definitively not!” I continue in desperation. As I border on the brink of hysteria, I notice that my body is starting to shake uncontrollably. This is followed by a re-alization and clear perception that chunks of the room in which I am standing in, including its empty space, are beginning to abruptly disappear. It’s as though I am about to be swallowed by a blackhole. Psychologically and emotionally it feels as though I’m one step away from a mental breakdown. But then the words of T.S. Eliot run through my mind, “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

I believe that if it wasn’t for my past psychoportation experiences, as well as my training in biofeedback/ meditation, I would go into complete shock and even worse. Still, I continue to tell myself that everything is okay—although by now three-quarters of my apartment and over half of my body have disap-peared—that I’m in control, and that I must relax. But most importantly, that I have to be strong enough, so as to keep a clear mind and record all the details of my experiment and resulting experiences. In fact, recording the details of my experiments is the second most important reason for me engaging in them. The first being the experience itself. This is because I want to learn as much as I can about the nature of the human mind and of the physical dimension.

Eventually, after a few more deep breaths, all of my surroundings, including my physical body, begin showing characteristics of normality once again. This helps me center my senses and myself somewhat better. I also wiggle my toes and fingers, and even begin humming from memory one of the McDonalds jingles: “You de - serve a break to - day....”, so as to further ground myself on physical reality and the human state of consciousness in general. Then, after stopping all of my thoughts for a few moments, I finally begin feeling a bit more emotionally stable. So I take this opportunity to record my exploration and experiences into my voice-activated tape recorder.

After doing this, I stumble over to my bedroom, where I collapse onto my waterbed, and completely loose consciousness for most of the morning and afternoon. By supper I’m feeling a little better, yet extremely nauseous, so I walk over to the toilet and vomit. I then take some aspirin and go back to bed, where I again pass out. By the next morning all of the combined pharmacological effects of dextromethorphan and the neurochemical effects of neuroelectrical stimulation have subsided, and I feel physically okay. But emotionally and psychologically, I keep feeling quite shaken and disturbed for the next few days.

Those are examples of my psychoportation and psychodynamic integration experiences. Although at times very hard on my body and mind, something inside of me, perhaps my soul, led me to continue engaging in these strange types of experiments. As a result, my ‘curiosity’ further increased. This curiosity had started just a couple of years earlier, innocently enough with pop psychology and New Age metaphysics. However, I feel that it was responsible for tak-ing me to another ‘level’. For I unexpectedly became interested in learning about the origins of consciousness and existence, as well as the reasons behind the creation of the physical dimension and of the human mind, if any.

Although at one point I felt that said curiosity became almost ‘morbid’—at least in my opinion. Because I became, and still am, obsessed with many very unusual topics, such as altered states of consciousness including psychotic and schizophrenic states, quantum physics, psychedelic chemistry, psychopharmacology, psychiatry, neurophysiology, and even neurosurgery. Indeed, my New Age studies had given way to “New Edge” research.

As I sit here writing this manuscript, roughly about two years after I first began my experiments with consciousness expansion and mental state alteration using ketamine, dextromethorphan, dimenhydrinate, and neuroelectrical stimulation in particular, I am beginning to realize that they may have yielded some unusual and unexpected side-effects on my psyche. Because of these experiments, I now feel that I am treading on a very thin line between madness and sanity; walking on a razor’s edge, if you will. For as you have just read, some of my experiences involving OBE’s and lucid dreams have begun to carryover into my everyday waking reality.

In fact, inner and outer realities have begun to merge with one another. Leaving me at times both frightened and confused. Other times just plain scared. Who knows? Maybe I’m loosing my mind. Then again, maybe I’m finding aspects that are unfamiliar to everyday mentality. Perhaps I have even begun tapping into uncommon yet valid mental states. (Although I know that many of you may consider them to be pathological.) Whatever it may be, what is considered ‘real’ or ‘reality’ I am now realizing is relative at best. Furthermore, these experiments have apparently reopened a door within my psyche that had been closed long ago. In addition, the voices in my head and the visions in my mind’s eye, which had always stayed ‘in there’ as thoughts, ideas, fantasies and daydreams, are now coming out and even interacting with me...





Continues in Into The Void...

 

 



(Excerpt from Foreword)

 

Hallucinatory states can be induced by a variety of synthetic dissociative anes- thetics, natural hallucinogens, and even off-the-shelf pharmaceutical drugs. These experiences are caused by psychoactive molecules displacing neurochem-icals from their corresponding receptor sites in the brain, as well as by the stimulation of neurological systems such as the temporal and parietal lobes, thalamus, visual cortex, etc.

However, in my opinion, these experiences may also suggest that there is some latent ability of the human brain that has yet to be discovered. The altered mind-states caused by these substances are not the common psychedelic experiences in which one sees abstract and colorful patterns, or where one experiences perceptual enhancement of sensory data. No, the altered states I’m referring to consist of full-blown hallucinations that are three-dimensional-like, solid, and even talk back at you...

As I immersed myself in the study of consciousness, I came across a wide variety of topics including psychopharmacology, which led me to discover substances such as diphenhydramine hydrochloride, dimenhydrinate and cyclizine hydrochloride, which I have experimented with. These substances were developed to suppress allergic symptoms and prevent motion sickness. But when taken in large amounts however, they become extremely psychoactive and affect brain functioning in a bizarre manner—placing one’s consciousness in a deep hypnagogic state, the borderline between wakefulness and sleep, complete with both auditory and visual hallucinations, but with the eyes open!

So, in a sense, these substances put the brain to sleep, while leaving both the mind and the body physically awake. One then is ‘dreaming awake’; and all of the subconscious material one may experience, hear, and see while in stages 1 and 2 of the dreamstate literally comes alive in the waking state—right in front of you. The curious thing though is that I have also experienced similar auditory and visual hallucinations without the use of any substances, as a result of an extremely high fever that I had when I was very young.

In contrast, other substances such as ketamine—in very low sub-surgical doses—and large doses of dextromethorphan hydrobromide (DXM HBr)—a cough suppressant—have an affinity for binding themselves to specific brain receptor sites, which in turn signal the brain to not only suppress the cough reflex—as is the case with DXM—but also signal the body’s nervous system to shutdown (go to sleep), while leaving the mind awake. This produces what is called a ‘dissociative state’; for the mind loses contact with the body’s consciousness, thereby unfocusing from physical reality and resulting in what are referred to as out-of-body experiences (OBE’s), near-death experiences (NDE’s), and astral projections.

Again, I have also had these experiences without the use of pharmacological agents, in deep states of psychophysiological relaxation. However, they tend to be sporadic and somewhat brief in nature. Yet they are utterly profound to say the least. For one actually steps outside the physical dimension and into another reality and state of being—sometimes even into a state of ‘non-being’...

Therefore, given the nature and implications of the types of experiences that may be induced by the substances just mentioned, I definitively feel that teens or even most adults under the age of thirty-five should not experiment with them. I cannot stress this point enough. These substances are not like LSD or Ecstasy. No, dissociatives are a psychopharmacological mystery, because as it turns out, they are extremely potent psychological and psychic ‘keys’, which have the uncanny ability to unlock a sort of Pandora’s box within the psyche.

Those individuals who have experimented with medium to high doses of in- tramuscularly injected ketamine for example, will tell you that at one point in the trip one often experiences a sort of split-personality disorder. Thus becoming not someone else, but rather, ‘something’ else. Indeed, dissociatives have a very distinct ‘alien feel’ and ‘personality’ to them, if you will, and I don’t think this should be played around with simply because one wishes to party or have a good time.

To a somewhat lesser extent—barely—dimenhydrinate and cyclezine hydrochloride also fall into this category. This is because the transition of the mental states produced by them not only affects short-term memory, but this shift is so subtle that one may actually forget that one has fallen asleep—or rather that one’s brain has—while still remaining physically awake. Thereby confusing the virtual reality-like hallucinations produced by the sleeping brain while in this ‘awake dreamstate’ with objects, people and events from the real world. In that regard the mental effects produced by these two substances are very similar to those of datura, belladonna and scopolamine. These effects being very much like those experienced in states of delirium and psychosis. For that reason, indi- viduals wishing to experiment with them—although I suggest you don’t—should be ‘seasoned pros’ in the exploration of the psyche and consciousness in general.

Now, the bizarre truth about the hallucinogenic substances I just mentioned (except for ketamine), is that they are readily available at any local drug store or supermarket, right next to the aspirin and mouthwash! In fact, I have come to discover that certain off-the-shelf pharmaceuticals are much more hallucinogen- ic and powerful than any of the illegal drugs available on the street.

The information presented in this book is the result of my ongoing investigative research in the field of consciousness. Based on my experiences I have to say that there are an infinite number of worlds and species alive in hyperspace. Of course, you don’t have to believe in what I am saying; you may prove it to yourself by developing your consciousness. You may do this in a number of ways, and that’s one of the topics discussed in this book.

However, I decided to take a ‘quantum leap’ approach as opposed to a grad- ual one, by employing the combined aid of brain technology devices and psy-chedelic and hallucinogenic substances. But I did this simply because I felt that for my psychological makeup that was the right thing to do. Accordingly, I must say that individuals who have not prepared themselves intellectually, psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually should refrain from attempting this. I cannot stress this point enough. Besides, many of the hallucinogens and almost all of the psychedelics available on the black market are Scheduled under federal law. So possession and/or research, even in the privacy of one’s own home and mind, is a potential crime punishable with years in prison. (!) Therefore, I must carefully watch both what I write and say.

The experiments with substances depicted in this book are fiction.

Now, it was many years into adulthood before I took a single dose of any psychedelic or hallucinogen. In fact, I was thirty-one years old. First, I studied about their psychopharmacological effects and possible health risks. Then, after reading a number of research papers written by academics, scientists, psychologists and psychiatrists (papers published prior to the year 1966 or pre-prohibition era), I felt confident enough that I was in no physical or biological danger. For example, during the 60’s and 70’s LSD was said to cause chromosomal damage. But it has been clinically proven that this is not the case. In fact, this is just one of the many lies that have been fed to the public by government agencies, such as the CIA, to create mass-hysteria and instill fear in the minds of the general public regarding psychedelic compounds. The reasons for this well-orchestrated effort, as well as much more on this very controversial subject will be covered on a later chapter. (Let me reiterate that I am referring to psychedelics and not hallucinogens; hallucinogens are something entirely different, and I will get to those differences in a moment.)

As I researched this subject and read about the mental and psychic effects elicited by these drugs and plants, I became so curious about them that I had no other alternative than to experience their effects first-hand—and I did.

However, it is of utmost importance that I point out that both personal as well as clinical research has overwhelmingly shown that set (one’s intention and state of mind: “I am an adult who seeks to understand the nature of who or what I am through the use of this sacred plant or psychopharmacological substance.”) and setting (for example, in the privacy of one’s home) will give an individual a vastly different experience than say a fifteen year old who thinks: “I know that I’m not supposed to be doing this because it’s illegal. But my buddy said it was really cool to trip. I sure hope my parents don’t bust me; or that I loose my mind, freak-out, and jump out of a window.”)

As you can see, set and setting (and perhaps even intent) can and do make all the difference in the world. This is even more so with neophytes. What I am trying to get at here, is that by the time my first experiments with these sub- stances began, I had already been studying meditation and Eastern philosophies for many years. I had also done research on the subject of altered states of con- sciousness, and regularly practiced lucid dreaming, remote viewing, and had even had a few OBE’s.

Not only that, but I specifically took these substances with the intent that they help with my psycho-spiritual development. Taking all of this into account, as well as my study of other subjects, such as quantum physics and psychology—which strangely enough came about as a result of my experimentation with these substances—I believe allowed me to have the experiences depicted in this book. Also, because of the psychological maturity I had reached from all of my study and research, I feel that my consciousness was at least somewhat ready for what I was about to encounter when I started to combine pharmacological substances together with brain technology devices.

After all of my experiences, I have concluded that these substances and de- vices are not toys, and should be approached with caution. Especially the combination of dissociatives, such as ketamine and DXM (at high doses) together with neuroelectrical stimulation. (Note that there are no studies on the long-term effects produced by this particular combination. Beware. Salvia divinorum is a plant that also must be used cautiously.) But most importantly, researchers should be mature enough to deal with the consequences of their actions.

I say this because individuals are apt to visit weird places in their minds, and come to learn things that will definitively shake them out of their ‘human expe- rience illusion’ and transport them to the very core of their psyche or oversoul, and even into what Carl Jung termed ‘the collective unconscious’. These places or rather ‘psychic states’ are profoundly strange and alien, and are filled with both dazzling beauty and bizarre madness. In many instances one may tempo- rarily loose all sense of individuality and experience total ego-disintegration. This can be a traumatic and horrifying occurrence to individuals who are not ready and experienced, and can very well lead to psychosis and schizophrenia; and believe me when I say this to you, for I am talking from personal experience.

In extreme cases, and by repeatedly using high dosages of these substances, one takes the risk of not ever coming back fully to this material reality—by get ting lost in some dark region of one’s mind. In that regard mental wards are full of such individuals—those who have lost contact with this reality. Therefore one should not; I repeat and emphasize: one should not experiment with these substances/ technology combinations unless he or she is mature enough and prepared to accept all of the responsibilities and consequences of accelerated psycho-spiritual growth and development.

One very important point I need to make is that this book is not meant to be a how-to manual. Instead, it is a personal journal of sorts, based on things I went through as a result of my accelerated psycho-spiritual development and awakening. Furthermore, the various control settings in the devices, types of devices used, substances, dosages, and combinations are given here simply because I’m beginning to see on various Internet newsgroups, chatrooms, and websites that an increasing number of individuals are already starting to experiment with psychedelic/hallucinogenic substances combinations together with brain technology devices.

However, if one doesn’t have at least a basic understanding of the mechanics involved, or the dangers of mixing certain types of substances and/or devices, one risks ending up at best in a psychiatric ward; at worst in the cemetery. I am not kidding. In fact, I’ll have you know that certain psychedelics such as 5-MEO-DMT and the Harmala alkaloids are MAO inhibitors, and therefore should not be taken while the body is digesting certain common everyday foods; or if one is taking particular types of prescription medicines, for the results can be fatal. Therefore, one must be intelligent and responsible enough to know what he or she is doing.

By no means do I claim to have all the answers on this subject. Research in the fields of psychopharmacology, neuroscience and brain technology are still in their infancy. But I believe that if a person feels an inner-need to experiment, then at least he or she should have information about what precautions should be taken; as well as the possible dangers involved. Note that I am neither against nor for drug use. However, I do feel that it should be an adult’s personal choice. With that in mind, I will present all sides on this subject—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Again, if an individual decides to do his or her own investigations regarding these substances, so as to see what is there for him or her, then at least he/she will do so with minimum risk. Yet believe me, the risk is great for one is exper- imenting with one’s brain and psyche. One also needs to understand that when starting to experiment with these substances and/or devices, one is forcing the unconscious and subconscious mind to communicate and reveal themselves to the conscious mind. So the usual boundaries that exist between them are broken. The results of this will vary greatly according to each individual’s level of psychological maturity and emotional makeup. Therefore caution should be of utmost importance every step of the way when engaging is this type of self-exploration.



Continues in Into The Void...

 

 



(Excerpt from Chapter One • Initial Discoveries)





LUCIDITY IN THE DREAMSTATE



The skill of lucid dreaming or dream travel has been practiced for thousands of years mostly in Tibet, by yogis wishing to develop their dream state awareness as another step in their spiritual evolution. Recent studies conducted by Dr. Stephen LaBerge at Stanford University, have scientifically validated this ancient occult ability; bringing it out of the Tibetan ashrams and occult schools and into laboratories and mainstream transpersonal psychology studies. In fact, Dr. LaBerge—who wrote two books on this subject—has also invented a lucid dreaming induction device, which allowed some subjects in his lab to become proficient at this skill within a few weeks, instead of years of practice. He then went on to train a group of elite ‘oneironauts’ or dream explorers, to venture inward into the world of dreams, and communicate their findings to the outside world in real-time!



At the end of his first book, “Lucid Dreaming”, Dr. LaBerge gives out the address of an institute devoted to this type of research; to which I wrote and obtained additional information on the subject. So then, what are dreams? Well, according to modern sleep and dream research this is what I learned. If one is in a waking state of consciousness, the brain is receiving input from the environment through the physical senses— eyes, ears, skin, nose and taste. The brain then combines the information acquired from the physical world, with the perceiver’s own memories and conditioned programming, and forms a ‘model’. This model is what one experiences as sensual or sensory-oriented reality. In the dreamstate however, the senses are almost completely closed off from physical reality. Therefore, the senses stop making a conscious model of it. Yet the brain keeps working, and if it is very active like in REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, the brain continues to make models of things that are perceived with the non-physical or psychic senses—and which reside within one’s mind.



There are two distinct phases of sleep: active or REM sleep, and passive or NREM (non-REM) sleep. In the active phase, one’s breathing becomes quick and somewhat irregular and the brain acts as if it’s awake. While all this activity is happening, the body remains almost completely still—except for some small occasional twitches—thanks to an internal device within the nervous system that switches on during sleep. Thus preventing the motor mechanisms from engaging, and stopping the dreamer from moving and acting out subcortical activity experienced during the dreamstate. Hence one is temporarily paralyzed. This phenomenon is commonly referred to as sleep paralysis. It is very important that you know about sleep paralysis because almost all of the neophyte out-of-body explorers confuse this natural function of the nervous system with everything from thinking that they have died; to being held down by phantoms or demons. But now you know otherwise.



In the passive phase, the brain is doing very little, while breathing is slow and deep, and the metabolic rate is at a bear minimum. There are also four stages of sleep. The first stage of sleep is called ‘stage 1’, and it is a state between drowsy semi-wakefulness and light sleep. Generally, in this stage, the eyes move slowly from side to side, and involuntary (hypnagogic) imagery drifts in and out of one’s consciousness. In addition, high-amplitude theta brainwaves—which we will discuss in the next chapter—are present, and there is also an increased production of melatonin and serotonin.



The second stage of sleep is called ‘stage 2’. Decreased metabolism, heart rate, and blood pressure characterize this stage. At this point a person is highly sensitive to noise. Finally, in stages 3 & 4, one’s blood pressure, heart rate, and body temperature are at their lowest. This is a time when the body’s cells undergo self-repair. One very important aspect of dreaming I should mention is that humans go from stages 1 through 4 about every ninety minutes. This is what is referred to as a sleeping cycle. Moreover, we go through about six of these cycles each night. At the end of each ninety minutes, we go back up from stage 4 through stages 3, 2, and finally arrive at stage 1, again. For my own reference, and that of this book, I call this new stage 1: ‘delta 1’, for it has now become different from the earlier stage 1. The reason for this is that by this point the dreamer has been in delta sleep for a while, and stage 1 has consequently become a REM dreaming cycle.



As the night progresses, we spend less time in NREM sleep, and more time in REM sleep. This is especially pronounced in the last two hours of the night, for at this point we spend up to forty-five minutes or more in stage 1 (and 2), or rather delta 1 (and 2) sleep.



The major problem that I encountered when I started to work with dreams was my ability to recall them. I almost always had very poor memory about them in the morning. But as it turns out, I came across a couple of methods that presumably enhanced dream recall. One of them is self-suggestion—telling yourself before going to sleep that you will remember your dreams. This however, did very little for me. The other method I read about, consisted

of keeping a dream diary and putting a note pad and pen by one’s bedside, so as to subconsciously coax the mind to start recalling nightly dream activities. I noticed that this method did help a little. However, it took me a few weeks to see a rather limited amount of worthwhile results. And then it stopped working all together.

I sensed that something was missing. After all, if emotions had a bio-electro-chemical component as mentioned earlier, could it be that dreams—which can sometimes be very emotional—have a similar component? Well, yes! In one of the books I was reading, I came across the work of a neuroscientist by the name of Allan Hobson, who maintains that when the brain enters REM sleep, it stops manufacturing the neurotransmitter chemicals responsible for memory. This perked up my interest of course, and although this was only a theory, I decided to look further into it.

To me this made perfect sense, for although humans have typically about six dreams each night, we have very poor memory about them, if at all. While continuing with this phase of my research, I found a couple of articles on CES, which stands for cranial electro-stimulation or neuroelectrical stimulation. I learned that CES therapy has been used outside of the United States for many decades in the treatment of various addictions. And although no medical claims can be made here in the United States because of FDA regulations, CES has been used in the treatment of depression, alcoholism, and substance abuse (cocaine, morphine, etc.) in Europe, Russia, and many other countries for over twenty years. Moreover, according to published medical reports, it is both safe and effective. (Nonetheless, always consult your physician.)

In Russia for example, CES or ‘electric sleep’—as it is referred to as over there—is used on high-ranking military and political officials, because some tend to overindulge in alcoholic beverages, such as vodka. However, once they engage in CES therapy for about twenty days, they are cured from not only the withdrawal symptoms, but also both short-term and long-term memory return to normal.

Here, in the United States, the common knowledge of this type of information would of course drive substance addiction clinics out of business, because of the implications. Indeed, CES treatment only costs but a couple of hundred of dollars—and that’s for the device itself! As opposed to something like twenty thousand dollars, which is what is charged to health insurance companies for ‘FDA-approved treatments’.

Other noted benefits associated with this kind of therapy that are mentioned in the published medical literature are increased concentration, deep relaxation, mental clarity, improved learning, mood elevation, and an altered state of consciousness similar to that of ‘jogger’s high’. Furthermore, in almost fifty years of CES use, there have never been any known or reported side-effects. Except for a universally noted one—vivid dreaming. This may be do to the fact that CES increases the amounts of neurochemicals responsible for memory (could this type of therapy replace Alzheimer’s disease drugs...?), which are secreted by the brain when bathed by CES frequencies. This led me to see that there was a connection between Hobson’s theory (about the lack of manufacturing of neurochemicals responsible for memory during REM sleep) and the reported side-effect of CES therapy—vivid dreaming, due to increased memory. (I hope you can start to see by now how and why I was beginning to feel as though I was putting together some sort of consciousness development puzzle. Indeed, the pieces were not only beginning to appear, but also seemed to be falling into place all on their own.)

Well, with all of the seemingly promising benefits that CES had to offer, I decided to give it a try. Even though I have never had any kind of substance addictions—except for maybe chocolate and sugar. So I again did some research on the Internet and found a website that sells CES devices, and purchased one in order to experiment with it. The device I obtained was a BT-6®, which stands for Brain Tuner model #6. (The details of this and other brain technology devices will be presented in the next chapter.)

As it turns out, this device not only worked, but also after only a few days of use, I was recalling four and five vivid dreams each and every night without any effort at all! Yes, I was amazed at the results that using this little ‘black box’ brought me. And just as I had been with the Monroe audiotapes, I was very satisfied. Moreover, my cravings for sweets and chocolate had completely vanished too! It was incredible. (I wonder why is it that this type of information isn’t given out or at least discussed by the merican news media…?)

Well, by now I had uncovered little known about information on dreams, what they might be, and how to better recall them. Not to mention a surefire way to eliminate substance addictions. As well as how—with the use of lucid dreaming—perhaps one may be able to program oneself to become lucid in the dreamstate, and dream about a chosen subject or target. However, I was not very good at becoming lucid in the dreamstate yet, but at least I was recalling a lot of dreams every week. I reasoned that this increased my chances of becoming lucid while dreaming. And if I did awaken inside a dream, then perhaps I could somehow go over to a target and explore it. All of this was both intriguing and exciting o me, so of course I eagerly continued with my experiments.

Unfortunately, after a few weeks of trials, I realized that trying to become aware that I was dreaming, hile still dreaming, was extremely difficult. Actually, I didn’t succeeded at all. I remember trying a technique that I had read in one of Carlos Castaneda’s books for weeks. The technique consisted of remembering to look at one’s hands while dreaming. This could then be used as a signal that would help one realize that he or she was indeed dreaming and therefore gain control over the dreamstate. Hey, that looked good on paper, but I could never remember to carry out those or any other instructions while reaming. This of course frustrated me.

By this point thanks to CES, I could remember my dreams. Unfortunately, I still could not remember to do things inside of them. “There has to be a way.” I thought to myself. Giving this a great deal of thought —and going over my finances—I reluctantly decided to give modern technology another try. So I ended up buying another piece of brain technology. After all, if the Monroe audiotapes had worked so well for me, as had CES, then why not give Dr. LaBerge’s newly developed lucid dreaming induction device a try? It had a money back guarantee. “What could I loose?” I reasoned. Besides, I could always get my money back if it didn’t work. This particular unit was very expensive ($ 1,200); but needless to say, it worked! After following the instructions that came with it, on the fourth night, I had my first lucid dream ever. Let me tell you that said experience left me reeling. In fact, it was similar to, no; it was ctually about one thousand times better than virtual reality technology! For by using it, I became immersed in a seemingly solid, three-dimensional world just as real as this one! I mean, think about the implications of that last statement for moment...

I recall that in my first lucid dream I was in a restaurant ordering some lunch, still unaware of the fact that I was dreaming. I was also in the company of a nice-looking young woman who was sitting with me. After a few minutes, the waiter approached our table and started to take our order. As he was looking at me and describing a platter’s contents, I noticed something that startled me. His eyes started to flicker with a red glow, and his voice suddenly became a high-pitched chirp! This of course indicated to me or actually signaled me that I was dreaming. But the fact is that the experience felt as though I was in the real world!

Indeed, for all intents and purposes, I felt as though I was completely awake and not at all dreaming. I was lucid, cognitive, ‘awake’, and in full use of all of my senses and mental faculties inside the dream. It felt amazing! Then, in just a few seconds, I was experiencing such an endorphin rush, that I found yself waking up in my bed laughing and screaming at the top of my lungs, full of joy and wonderment. However, I had this experience and many others with lucid dreaming only because prior to my first lucid dream I had followed Dr. LaBerge’s instructions. Let me explain this carefully. The operation manual suggests the practice of what are called ‘reality tests’. Some of these tests—because there are many of them, like for example the ones I described in the prologue of this book—consist of making a conscious effort to analytically examine any type of peculiar sounds and/or lights throughout the day in one’s waking state for a few days or weeks. These can be the flashing or blinking lights of a car, the red light of a traffic signal, a car horn or telephone ring, etc. Then, whenever the would-be lucid dreamer encounters one of these signals—in the real world or in the dream world—he or she will have hopefully built the habit of asking, “Could I be dreaming right now?” would this possibly be a dream?” One then tries to notice any kind of strange or odd occurrences or things that simply cannot be real, such as flying people, strange-looking objects, weird-looking reatures, etc. These can then be used as cues to lucidity.

In my case, I had already started to diligently train the analytical part of my mind to almost continually question my perceived reality. So the device worked in that sense. Otherwise, I might as well see a three-headed dog in a dream and begin a conversation with it—neglecting to notice the fact that I was dreaming. Because you see, the fact is that our analytical faculties are almost non-existent in the reamstate. Therefore one may not realize, while still inside the dream, that these strange and offbeat occurrences are indeed impossible in the real world. And due to this, the dreamer will then accept said odd occurrences as possible and ‘real’ within the context of dream reality. For at the time of the dream, he dreamer does not realize that he or she is dreaming. Let me give you an example.

I’m sure you have had at least a couple of instances in your own dreams when you have found yourself talking with an ape wearing a tux, or with your neighbor or with your boss, who in the dream happens to be your brother; or some other similar offbeat occurrence along similar lines, and think nothing of it. In fact, while dreaming said event might seem normal, right? Well, by performing the reality tests just mentioned during the waking state (again, by questioning the integrity of lights, sounds, events, etc.) of course nothing odd or peculiar is going to happen or be noticed. But at night, when the device detects that one is dreaming and gives out the flashing lights and beeping sounds, these will enter the dream in a variety of forms and signal one to perform a reality test—causing one to question whether one could possibly be dreaming or not. And if one happens to become lucid while dreaming, then that’s when the bizarre fun begins...

The more I experimented with this technology, the more fascinated I became with it. However, nothing prepared me for what was about to happen when I started to combine both pharmacological substances and devices. At one point I have to admit that I became confused and even scared, for the boundary line between physical reality and mind-created reality began to disappear. Although paradoxically, even physical reality is created by the perceiver’s mind. And I again bring this point up because if you think about it for a moment, a chair for example, is not really a solid object at all. Instead, it is made up of mpty space, with a few million atoms swirling within it. But the atoms themselves are massless.



In fact, as I came to learn, matter is composed of ‘fields of information’, which have no mass. So in reality then, a chair, or a car, or even a person, are in reality fields of information that the physical brain constructs into patterns of energy, which it can then relate to, and make associations about based on prior perceptual data stored in its memory banks. Given these facts, how can we then be so egotistical and say that only what we see with our eyes, hear with our ears, and touch with our hands is ‘real’ and in fact ‘reality’? Haven’t we all done those things inside a dream with dream objects and even dream people? How can we then also define what ‘reality’ really is? Think about it for a moment. In a dream, things, people and even events are so real that we forget the fact that we are dreaming! Am I right? My point exactly.



Anyway, a few days later after my first experiences with lucid dreaming, I was in line at the bank waiting to make a deposit. Suddenly, all of the lights went out for a second and then came back on. This startled me and struck me as odd. Could I possibly be having a dream? I remembered driving to the bank and even waking up in the morning. Not only that, but people at the bank, including those in line standing next to me, smiled when the lights went out temporarily. Some even laughed a little. All of this made me feel a little foolish for questioning my waking reality in such a suspicious way. But that’s the nature of this type of mental training, and must be performed on a continuous day-to-day basis. Anyway, when I arrived at the teller’s window, I noticed that the teller handling my transaction had one eye and two ouths. I had been dream-ing! I immediately woke up shocked by what had just happened.



These types of experiences continued for a few weeks and I was exhilarated. But I also began to become confused, and wondered if what I was experiencing at any given moment was really waking reality or dream reality. This taught me to never take ‘reality’ for granted; and just to be sure always question the ‘reality’ I found myself in—either in the waking or dreaming state. Consequently, I realized that continuous awareness of one’s thoughts and perceived environment—mindfulness—is one of the keys to higher states of awareness.By this point, I was very happy that I had learned something new—lucid dreaming. Moreover, I had learned many new and exciting things about the nature of the human mind and consciousness in general. Yet there was still much ground to cover, so I continued. The next thing on my agenda was the all-elusive out-of-body state.



oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooContinues in Into The Void...





 





(Excerpt from Chapter One • Initial Discoveries)





THE OUT-OF-BODY STATE

It is not my purpose or intent to repeat information in this book about out-of-body experiences that has been written about elsewhere. There are a number of books about this particular altered state, and if you wish to familiarize yourself with the subject of OBE’s, I encourage you to read the books that are available. The reason I say this is because the information presented here will be more ‘advanced’—for lack of a better word—in nature. Not only that, but also most of the OBE information I have collected as a result of my experiences is surprisingly different from the information found in other books. As mentioned before, OBE’s and lucid dreams are the same thing. The only difference between the two is the time at which the analytical faculty engages into action. In other words, in lucid dreaming, the analytical faculty or conscious awareness engages after one has completely dissociated from the physical body’s consciousness. This is when one realizes that one is having a dream, or rather becomes lucid while dreaming. In contrast, during an out-of-body experience, the analytical faculty is retained throughout the entire process of dissociation from the physical body’s consciousness. Thus, once the process is completed, the individual realizes that he or she is indeed out of the body and inside dream reality.

All out-of-body explorers believe that when they are out-of-body they start to function in their astral body—indicating that this is taking place in the astral plane. And if they travel to the mental plane, then they switch to their mental body, etc. (All of these names are arbitrary of course, but I am simply using them because most people are familiar with them.) Now, many psychonauts have observed that once out of their bodies, their immediate surroundings for example, are mostly somewhat imperfect copies or flawed replicas of their Earth/physical counterparts. Supposedly, this is because the objects they are seeing exist at a different and faster vibratory rate than the one of the physical dimension. Therefore their molecular structure, and consequently their appearance, is different than physical objects.

Some researchers even claim that the reason for these variances is because out-of-body explorers have not yet learned how to correctly see with their astral eyes—hence the discrepancies. But I feel that these theories and explanations may not be totally accurate. This is because most out-of-body explorers have missed the fact that there are dimensions betwixt the physical and the astral!

This may explain why the data collected about nearby surroundings, or about an object in a room for example, while engaged in laboratory-controlled OBE experiments, almost always never corroborates. This is because the explorer may have landed, traveled or tuned in to a probable Earth or dream system—complete with its own version of artifacts, places and events. Hence the discrepancies. However, experiments that have been successful are due to the fact that the explorer was indeed observing and gathering the data from our physical reality, while operating in the ‘adjacent’ subphysical dimension—our version of it—and not a probable one. It took me a long time to realize this, and a lot of the people with whom I shared this idea with thought I was wrong, but I wasn’t. Let me explain why I am so sure of this.

One time when I had just left my body during an OBE, I turned around to take a closer look at my physical body, but to my surprise it wasn’t there! This was very strange to me, for in the past I had always seen my physical body lying in bed asleep while I was in the OBE state. But that wasn’t the case this particular time. After pondering this matter for a few moments (while in the OBE state), it suddenly struck me that the reason why I wasn’t seeing my physical body in bed was because this time around I really was in the astral dimension!

Most of the other times—when I had seen my physical body asleep in bed—I had been in the subphysical realm (the dimension closest to the physical); and the other times, I had been in the realm of probabilities; looking at the body of a probable self! Let me elaborate on this very carefully.

First of all, if you are out of your body and in the astral dimension, then why would you be able to see your physical body sleeping in bed? For if you are in the astral dimension, and are observing an ‘astral version’ or counterpart of your bedroom, then you shouldn’t be able to see your physical body, for it stays in the physical dimension; and you are now operating in the astral dimension! Think about it for a moment.... Get it? At other times, if you are out of your body and the physical body lying in bed does not look like your physical counterpart, or the room looks different, it is because this time around you are observing a room and/or someone from a probable version of planet Earth!

Another way to illustrate this is with the commonly used analogy that the physical brain is very much like a television receiver; and alternate dimensions, worlds and realities, are like frequencies. With this in mind, if we desire to access a particular frequency (lets compare it to a radio or television channel) we would do so by tuning in to said frequency. Now then, if we are tuned to channel 5 and are watching the local news, then we could not access a Pay-Per-View Special. The reason being that not only would that require for us to change or to tune in to that other channel, but also that the Pay-Per-View channel is on a completely different frequency band, which requires a designated receiver (in this case a cable t.v. converter) in order to be received.

This same analogy can then be used for the OBE example. For if one is functioning in the astral dimension, or any other dimension for that matter, it is because one’s mind is tuned in to—at that moment—to that particular system of reality or psychodynamic frequency domain (PDFD). Now, many out-of-body explorers report—when they are in the OBE state and in the astral dimension—that their familiar physical surroundings look somewhat different (furniture arranged in a unusual manner, alternate colors and patterns in the fabric, etc.), and at other times they look completely disparate (rooms are larger, furniture looks both ancient and futuristic, sometimes the room lacks furniture, or, they find themselves in a completely different place, such as a forest, city, etc.). Some scientists and researchers alike have postulated that this is due to the fact that since these experiences are taking place in the mind of the individual only, the physical brain is making up the surroundings out of stored memories. Therefore, these experiences are nothing more than hallucinations, and the images are only distortions of reality. Hence the discrepancies.

But based on my own experiments and explorations, I beg to differ. For I have come to find that when one projects out-of-body, one can end up in any of the many dimensions or sub-dimensions that exist parallel, or rather adjacent to our physical reality. In fact, through my own repeated explorations, I have found this to be the case, and consequently, I have mapped these divisions [...]

As you may recall, I mentioned earlier that we go through about five sleep cycles each night. Each of these cycles lasts about ninety minutes. And at the end of each one of these cycles we enter a REM dreaming phase. Also, as the night progresses, we spend less time in Non-REM sleep, and more time in REM sleep—especially in the last two hours of the night. These last two hours of sleep are almost all dreaming sleep. With this in mind, I decided to apply the dreaming sleep mechanics to OBE’s. This required me to modify my usual sleep patterns. So, instead of me sleeping for eight hours straight, I would do the following: On a typical night I would go to sleep at 10 p.m. Then, I’d wake up at 2 a.m.; and again, since each dream cycle starts every ninety minutes or so, I would stay awake until 3:30 a.m. During this time I usually read material relating to lucid dreaming, OBE’s, or remote viewing, so as to prepare my mindset for psychic functioning. Then, by the time I went back to sleep (about ninety minutes later), I would be right at the beginning of a dreaming cycle. While I was in bed waiting to fall asleep, I’d listen to one of the Monroe audiotapes (for example, “Exploration, Sleep” <Focus 10> or, “Mission Night” <Focus 12>). And while listening to either one of those audiotapes, I’d oftentimes become aware of my body gradually falling asleep, while I stayed mentally awake. What I found tricky in this process though, is that if I was too alert and not sort of sleepy, then the only thing that would happen is that I’d just lie there, consciously aware that my body had fallen asleep—but that’s it, nothing else.

However, if I went through this process while I was just a little bit sleepy—and I emphasize just a little bit—then all sorts of strange visual and auditory phenomena would ensue. Which in turn would oftentimes culminate in an OBE. I believe that this grogginess is one of the keys that must be used in order to access the OBE state. As it turns out, I found that this grogginess is the result of the brain’s release of its own endogenous hallucinogenic neurochemicals—one of them being dimethyltrytamine (DMT), which in my opinion is responsible for both dreaming and OBE’s.

Now, while this process was taking place, the first thing that would happen is that I’d become aware of fleeting images such as strange landscapes; which would disappear if I tried to focus my attention on them. There were also a wide variety of sounds such as rushing winds, crickets, and even explosions. Furthermore, as I progressively relaxed both my body and mind, the stream of images would sometimes turn into whole scenes that oftentimes included people. Then, at this point, if I showed a vague desire to participate in them, the separation (OBE) would occur. This separation process always consists of a magnetic-like pressure/pull from my body, while my entire consciousness seems to be enveloped by a loud and roaring wind. The outcome is an OBE.

Again, the major factor needed in order for this to process to occur, is that I had to feel somewhat groggy from being sleepy. Yet cognitive enough to participate in the process and not fall completely asleep. Also, I had to remain a passive observer until the images became lifelike. Then, and only then, would I need to mentally and emotionally show a slight or detached desire/interest in order to enter into these scenes via an OBE. I was really intrigued by this halfway in between awake and sleep zone, which is needed in order to enter consciously into the dream/OBE state. But this was not the theta state of consciousness—as it is scientifically called—but more like a ‘beyond theta’, near delta. Given the phase of my research, I immediately made a mental note to look further into brainwaves and the states of consciousness associated with them. (More on brainwaves in the next chapter.)

But the weird thing about the OBE state though, is that after the separation occurred, I would oftentimes find myself standing in my bedroom. And at other times, I would be somewhere else; even though I intuitively knew that I was standing in the same ‘space’. Indeed, it felt as if I was somehow seeing through the various layers of reality that separate all of the different PDFD’s (Psychodymanic Frequency Domains).

Anyway, my application of dreaming cycles together with OBE’s proved to be a successful one. In fact, by this time thanks to the devices I had acquired, together with the information I had gathered, I was averaging about three OBE’s per week. That’s close to fifteen OBE’s per month! But there was a problem. I could stay in these other dimensions for only very brief periods of time. Usually no longer than three minutes. For if I stayed in these dimensions any longer, I ran the risk of forgetting that I was out-of-body and therefore I’d get caught up in a dream event.

However, the more OBE’s I had, the more of my self-awareness and personality I could take on these nightly journeys. Soon I was asking the people I encountered in my dreams what their names were (sometimes I would even ask them to spell them out so that I could write them down later); if they knew the fact that they were inside my dream (to which one of them replayed, “How can you be so sure of that? Maybe we’re both inside someone else’s dream.”), and other similar questions. Nonetheless, even though I now had a bit more access to this particular psychic window, I could still not travel to destinations of my choice. What I mean is that whenever I wanted to go to some particular place, say the moon or the Eiffel Tower, I would always get ‘lost’ along the way.

For example, once that I was out-of-body and had the desire of visiting a particular location, I’d find that during the actual ‘flight’ there I always seemed to loose my concentration and/or intent and control, and therefore ended up somewhere else, or back inside my body. No matter what I did to try to resolve this problem (visualization, intention, etc.), was of no consequence. I simply could not get wherever I wanted. Still, I continued practicing and continued with my research.



Continues in Into The Void...







 





(Excerpt from Chapter Five • Into The Void)



After putting on my headphones and as the pleasing hemi-sync tones were beginning to synchronize both of my brain hemispheres, I made myself comfortable on my home office recliner. Next, I proceeded to inject the awaiting dose of ketamine into my left thigh. I then began to describe out loud a brief outline of my experiment into an overhead microphone. For I had started to try and record my explorations in real-time. (But this didn’t workout very well, for all of the body’s muscles become paralyzed when using this substance. However, this is not the case with LSD for instance.)

Then, for a very brief period of time—until the pharmacological effects of ketamine began—I preprogrammed my coming voyage with the following command: “Go to the night of December 25, 1996…which I repeated as many times as I could. Within two minutes of injection, the nauseating effects of ketamine began coming over me. I felt my eyes roll back and my body started to become paralyzed, while my mouth remained almost halfway open.

In seconds my sense of being began to spin round and round, and continued in a circular motion until it seemed as if I was going to spin out of my ‘axis’, out of my normal state of mind, out of control. At this point the REM binaural frequencies became my only lifeline to my self-conscious awareness; and within moments, I became completely engulfed by a ravishing centrifugal force that eventually culminated by orcefully and rather violently ripping me out of my body and shooting me into hyperspace.

I raced through the dark tunnel at an indescribable speed, faster than what I had traveled in the past—at least this was my sense. I also felt an overwhelming raw energetic force engulf my consciousness. This in turn made me feel like a comet or a shooting star. The speed was staggering, and, as usual, I could not close my eyes. A few moments later, hues of materiality began to become discernible within the ethereal-like mist that I was traveling through. My speed gradually began slowing down, and in a few more seconds, I glided into a physical reality urban scene. I found myself floating above a number of houses and began descending towards a large dark-colored mansion. Although it was nighttime, the entire area was somewhat illuminated from the Christmas lighting that adorned the town’s neighborhood homes, hich made it possible for me to see.

As my non-physical body went through the roof, everything went black, but within one second or so I was hovering above a large living room area. Although it was dark, I had a sense of grayish night vision. While I was experiencing all of this I had the sensation of being underwater, for I had no weight and felt no gravity to pull me down. This caused me to struggle up in the air a bit. For I was trying to reach the floor and move horizontally—the way one normally walks—as opposed to the ceiling-level loating I was experiencing.

The achieving of this was imperative to me, for I wanted to have as good a perspective of my surroundings as possible. From what I had gathered so far, the place I now found myself at seemed to be a two or three story house. After horizontally floating away from the carpeted living room, I immediately came to a large wooden floor hallway that had a stairway going up. I did see at least one floor rest. My problem was that I had no idea where the murdered child’s room was, or whether she and her parents were even home yet. Because you see, there was no way of me telling what time of night it was. So I decided to check upstairs and see if the bedrooms were there. As soon as I had this thought, I instantaneously found myself in a small dark hallway, which took me into an open area. At this point I gave myself the mental command to start remembering details about what I was encountering in the ouse while looking for the bedrooms, for I knew that I only had but a few minutes in this out-of-body state.

One of the things I clearly remember seeing was an American Indian-style motif artwork that hung on one of the hallway’s walls. I also remember seeing a fireplace on an upper floor, which struck me as odd, because at least here in Florida—where I live—all fireplaces are on the ground floor. Another thing I remember seeing was a room that had a very impressive and expensive-looking bar, completely leather bound, stools and all. It also boasted a large number of liquor bottles. Along with this there was a large cade style video game on the side of the bar.

However, I never got the opportunity to see what type of game it was, for while in the process of doing all of this, I started to feel like a thief in the night, intruding on someone else’s home. For I was doing this without the homeowner’s knowledge or consent. But my purpose was to see how the murdered had taken place and who had done it. So I felt that my non-physical prowling was at least justifiable in that sense. While in this non-physical ‘phantom state,’ if you will, something incredible dawned on me: The moment I see how this child was murdered, and who did it, I will become a witness in an ongoing murder investigation! Instantly I found myself back in my body, lying on my home office recliner. The binaural frequencies had stopped, and the CD player was on idle. And although I still felt kind of groggy, I did my usual audiotape recording of the exploration. [....]



Continues in Into The Void...



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